Failure
By an for Fred J. Glotz
02/16/2011
Failure is an odd companion. In many ways failure (whether it is failure of parents expectations, your lover's or your own) is like the Gothic girl, the one with the torn black stockings and smudged eye liner) that you couldn't take home to your folks, but never-the-less stayed with you until the day before you were married. It never leaves your heart or you head. By the time you realize that failure is your constant companion, it is the bottom of the 8th, you are three runs down and your realize you have not swung the bat yet.
Failure is neither female or male. It simply is. It shows up in it's most detrimental form possible: your mom, dad, your 8th grade gym teacher, an old lover or yourself. Once it shows up, it doesn't change form until the next chance for failure comes along.
It has a voice. It is that consistent flat tone. It uses the same voice, same tone, same pace and pitch. Failure hums in your ear and drones, “You are a schmuck! (Camels of the world please forgive the comparison.) It says you are a disappointment. Failure says you are a disappointment to yourself. A drawback to the family gene pool. A letdown to your planet and a boil on the buttocks of the universe.
Pick any evil entity. Pick Satan. Satan loves failures like angels love the repentant believer. This is true, just too true. But, then again, the great writers of poetry, opera, books, Eric Carmen and even Aaron Barrett have used failure to fall into success. Failure means big bucks to some. Probably bucks for the evil entity too.
It is not failure that breaks you down. It is the exercise of getting up off the mat of the ring: time and time and time again! You get up until your legs break or you win the match.
From the view of the rest of the world, all failure's look, smell, dance and taste alike. Maybe all failure's are the same … in the same way that Hela Monster tastes like chicken.
From the view of the failures ourselves, every failure is different distinct from all others. It is we, not failure, brings us to the brink of recognizing ourselves falling down the dark rabbit hole as we experience ourselves climbing out.
So: what do we do?
Fight the never-ending good fight.
“Take comfort where you find it. Whatever gets you through.” – Rob Royer
You do what you need to to get by.
Being a failure means that you have the opportunity to push back against the prick of your own life. Your own karma.
So carry on. Carry back. Carry over. Carry though. Cary Fisher and even carry me back to old Virginny.
Carry your heart and sole to get you through 'til tomorrow morning.
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